~~~
My wife and I have had some discussions recently about wanting to have another baby. We both have an intense desire to have another child together. We are also afraid. Afraid that if we do get pregnant something will go horribly wrong again. A miscarriage. A birth defect. An unexpected and unexplained event like what happened with Uriah. We don't want to repeat the pain of losing a child. We need to trust the Lord though; He does know what is best. He can give us a healthy child if He so chooses.
One of the things that we've talked about is wondering what other people think about us. Occassionally we catch ourselves talking about other couples/families, questioning something that they are or aren't doing, wondering why they're doing something that doesn't make sense to us, judging them for doing something we don't agree with, etc. It's not our place to judge others though, so we need to be very careful in that area. Anyway, the reason I mention that is because we then wonder if people talk about us, and if so, what do they talk about? We figure if we get pregnant again now some people will question that and think we're doing the wrong thing. We realize it doesn't matter what others think about us. No matter what we do, somebody will disagree. If we get pregnant now, somebody will think we should've waited longer to give my wife's body more time to recover from the previous pregnancy. Somebody else will think we should've never got pregnant again, that we shouldn't take that chance on losing another child. If we wait a year to get pregnant again, someone will think we shouldn't have waited that long, that it was too risky because of my wife's age. If we never get pregnant again someone will think that we're just too scared to try again, and that we don't trust God enough that He could give us a healthy baby. Regardless of what we do people will talk and wonder and question. We need to not worry about it. All we should concern ourselves with is what our hearts' desires are coupled with what we feel God wants us to do.
It wouldn't surprise me if people have already talked about us in regards to Uriah. "It's no wonder God took Uriah from them - he was conceived in sin and God wanted to punish them for it." Yes, Uriah was conceived in sin - adultery. We are ashamed of that, but we confessed our sin to God and He forgave us. Uriah was not a mistake. God knew what He was doing when He conceived Uriah for us. He knew that Uriah would be the push that we both needed to turn our hearts back towards God. I do not believe that He took Uriah from us to punish us.
Regardless of what people may think or say, we are trying to get pregnant again now. We are praying that God will bless us with another child. This child would not be a replacement for Uriah, because Uriah can never be replaced in our hearts. But we do desire another child, another blessing, from the Lord. Would you pray for that with us please?
~~~
Since I first wrote this post late last night (I dragged my feet in posting it!) I have tentatively decided on a new name for my blog. Nevertheless, if you have any suggestions please offer them as I'm not yet fully settled on using the new name. What is the possible new name? You'll find out in my next post. :-)
