-I mowed the front lawn tonight. I misjudged how quickly it would get dark. I started mowing around 8pm, maybe a little later than that. I got about 90% done and it was dusk out and all I had left to mow was the portion of the yard that grows the slowest - so with it being shorter grass than all the rest of the yard coupled with the low-light situation I could barely see where I had mowed and what still needed to be mowed. I think I got it all done though - but I'll find out for sure tomorrow when the light arrives!

-A few days ago I decided I had better start trying to work on developing/furthering friendships, whether it be with old friends or new friends. I have precious few friends, and none that I would call very close friends. I've always been an extreme introvert, and thus have rarely ever put any effort into talking to or hanging out with any friends I may have. I realized recently that continuing this behavior is a bad idea for several reasons. I hate taking advice from other people, but I'm realizing that I need to change that part of me. I've made a lot of bad decisions over the years - the advice I give myself often doesn't work out so well. So I need to be more open to seeking and accepting advice from others, but it's difficult to get decent advice from strangers or casual acquaintances. You need to have decently close friends who know you pretty well in order to get decent advice. Then there's the time factor. I have at various times in my past spent way too much time on my own doing nothing productive, and if I have too much time alone with my thoughts it's really easy for me to drag myself down and get depressed and despondent about life. So if I spend more time talking with and hanging out with friends then that would help prevent that type of situation from occurring again.

-I need to start doing something for exercise and I think bike riding would be one good way to get some exercise in. I use to love riding my bike when I was younger. I think I would enjoy it again now. I don't have a bike. That presents a bit of a problem with bike riding. I could buy one. But that requires spending money on myself and I have an extremely difficult time spending money on myself when money is needed to take care of other things for people that I care about. Maybe I can find a good used one at a garage sale or on craigslist. I could probably convince myself to spend the money if it was cheap enough. After all, it's for my health, right?!

-Is it weird for an introvert to hate feeling lonely? Introverts are supposed to like being alone. I suppose there's a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. I really don't love being alone as much as I used to think I did. It's more that I hate being around other people because I feel so uncomfortable around them. I feel like I don't fit in, like I don' t belong, like I don't know how to interact with them. So of course it's easier to just be alone and that's what I've often chose to do. One of many things I need to change about myself.

-I'll stop rambling now. I want to read some more of my book before going to sleep and I think I should go to sleep soon because it's midnight and I have to get up in the morning for - I have no idea. I probably don't need to get up early. I'll sleep in! Maybe. If I can. Before when my EDS was bad I could sleep in until the afternoon and then get up and an hour later go right back to bed. Now I wake up much earlier and sometimes can't go back to sleep even if I try. It's really bizarre for me. Ok, that's it for now.

-Have a great - and safe - weekend everyone!

-I'm hungry. Drat.

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